I miss not having to deal with snow.

Lately it has been snowing a lot in Michigan. Growing up I enjoyed the snow because I could play in it, go sledding, and it brought about those unplanned snowdays that every kid loves. Now I hate it. I went to college at Grand Valley State University which is located in a rural area surrounded by fields. Winter there is the worst, since there aren't many trees the wind can be really harsh. While I'm glad I'm no longer freezing my face off there having to walk in it everyday, it still sucks to drive in. I'm also really weak against the cold, I usually wear at least three layers when I'm at home. Snow is pretty to look at I'll admit, but so not worth the trouble in my opinion.

My backyard. The sun rising is pretty.

I planted this pine tree in the 5th grade when it was just wee sapling.

While I stayed in Tokyo it only snowed three times, and all right before I left in February. It was almost like Japan was trying to reacclimate me to snow before I had to return. Looking at the bright side of things, I do appreciate that we actually heat our houses here in America, but that is a story for another post.

The view from my bedroom the morning after it snowed in Tokyo. It's pitiful that that much snow is a big deal. 

We are supposed to receive 10 more inches tonight and tomorrow. もうヤッダ！(；-_-)=3

Day 2 of 30 day meme: What it is like to live in Inagi.

Day 02 – Describe your neighborhood in Japan.

I can’t say that I have been everywhere in the Tokyo area, or even half of it really, but from what I have seen I wouldn’t want to live any other place than Inagi.

During my stay in Tokyo I lived with my host family in Inagi which is about 45 minutes by train from Shinjuku. It’s located in the western area of Tokyo. My host father often would make comments at dinnertime about how quiet Inagi is compared to being in the heart of the city. He wasn’t lying, part of the reason I loved living there was because it was a relief to get away from the huge masses of the city streets. It isn’t like there aren’t a lot of people living in Inagi, I’d say there are a fair amount, but anything compared to main Tokyo seems small in comparison. Also I'm almost 90% there was some kind of Yakuza action in the area. I saw some pretty shady characters, and from time to time late at night (like 3am late) I would hear what sounded like motorcycles racing in the streets. So it wasn't ALWAYS quiet.

A creek where otters supposedly had been seen (there was a sign posted on the bridge). The white thing in the middle of the picture is some type of white crane.

Marsh that runs along the river.

Inagi also had a more down-to-earth feel to it (at least the side we lived on). There was quite a bit of nature in the area, even with all he houses crammed next to each other. There were small fields, creeks, and a river/park within walking distance of our house. My Okaasan (host mother) or host sister Maki would walk our dog Babe by the river everyday. Even though we had a grocery, there is still small family-owned (Ma and Pa) type shops in the area too. Right next to the station there is a small flower shop that was always nice walk by. I remember around Christmas they even put out poinsettias and mini Christmas trees (which I was very tempted to buy).  Right across from the grocery there was a vegetable/fruit shop that had this man (the owner most likely) who would yell out “irasshaimase~” (welcome) in the funniest ways. I want to say he was originally from some other area of Japan like Osaka by the way he would say it.  Whenever Maggie or I would walk by he always seemed to get louder too, which always amused me. 

 This is the moving shop that I would have to turn at everyday. Just past it is a small alley that leads to another small alley that leads to ANOTHER alley that my host family's house is located on.

Our house was about a five minute walk from the station (Inaginaganuma) and along the way, once you get past the shops and towards where the houses start, there was this lamp post that had this giant spiderweb with the biggest spider I have ever seen in it. Now, I suffer from arachnophobia, I can hardly stand to be in the same room as a spider, so this REALLY freaked me out with I first noticed it. At first I wouldn’t walk on that side of the street by it, but then I realized I was being a little silly since it was high up where it couldn’t get me. It was also kind of troublesome to always cross the street so I gave up. Eventually it became a part of my surroundings. I would check every day to make sure it was there, and when winter came, some time at the end of December or beginning of January (when it REALLY started to get cold) the spider disappeared. This will probably be the only spider in my lifetime that I am sorry to see die. It may sound crazy of me but once it had started to get chilly and cold in November and December everyday when I checked and it was still there I thought “Ah, it’s trying hard to survive isn’t it? I’m trying hard to make it here too! Ganbatte spider friend! (try hard/good luck)” XD Annnnnnnd... I can’t believe I just admitted that to the world, I AM SUCH A DORK.

The mama giraffe is kissing the baby giraffe. How cute!

Another quirky thing I love about Inagi is the mystery of the giraffe on the gate leading on to the main road (which is just in front of the station). I have long puzzled over this. Is the giraffe their mascot? Or does it have other meaning? I took it as a sign that I belonged there because my Dad’s favorite animal is the giraffe and we have a lot of giraffe themed decorations in my house (which I think are kind of lame but that is another story).  Also there is some Katakana on the gate (along with Kanji that I can read) that says ベアリーロード “Bearirodo” Beary road? Berry road? Very road? Is this the name of the main street with shops on it? I have no clue and for some reason I never asked either (should probably email Maki about this…). But it’s awesome either way, because at night there are Christmas lights on it that are up ALL YEAR ROUND. It was comforting coming home to them late at night. Some may find it cheesy but I think they are wonderful. There is almost a magical quality to it, so I took a video of them one night and here it is to share with you all: 

As for our neighbors, there was this very old lady that lived right next door. She had a tree that grew the fruit that they make Umeboshi out of, so she made her own every year. Too bad I’m not a fan of Umeboshi. She also sometimes gave Okaasan food to share with Maggie and I. She made these awesome rice balls covered in anko (red bean paste) they were one of my favorite foods. She would often be sweeping the yard in the morning when I left for school, I always said good morning and “ittekimasu!” (I’m going/leaving) and she would always say “itterasshai” (safe trip/go and come back). There was another lady that I would also sometimes meet in the morning or run into who lived a couple houses down. She would always greet me too, and she had the cutest little dog named Maru. We actually had a conversation once where she thought I worked there, and I had to explain that no I was just an exchange student. I was amused though. We didn't really talk more than these small greetings but they always made me feel good and more a part of the neighborhood instead of some other reactions I got (oh there is the foreign girl let's try not to make eye contact, walk quickly). I wonder how they are both doing. I hope I will get to see them again when I go back.

 Maggie (on the right) and myself posing in front of the Sakura trees that line the walkway along the river.

My friend Anna and I are hoping to go in the spring next year and I remember my Okaasan saying that the trees that line the walkway by the river are Sakura trees. I’m just dying to see them when I go! 

I leave you with this fun link to the "street view" (panorama) of the main street of Inagi. (That I did not just spend an half-an-hour playing with) You can see the flowershop on the left hand side, then a little bit down is the grocery and right across the street from that is the small veggie/fruit shop with the fun owner I mentioned.

My New Years in Japan Part 2: Awkward dinner, demon children, and the epic hunt for a designer bag.

I left my last post off talking about spending New Years in Japan.  My host family and I had came back home after our hatsumode trip to the Ohkunitama Shrine. We spent the afternoon doing pretty much whatever we did usually in our free time. If I remember correctly, I spent most of the time on my computer watching movies or dramas or something. My Okaasan, Maki, and my host brother’s wife were busy preparing dishes for our big dinner with the extended family. 

I couldn't pass this up no matter how cliche.

I’m a sucker for cheesy holiday traditions, so I did make sure to get online to watch the ball drop in New York via webcam. My host brother’s wife (whose name I never seemed to get right, that is why I keep referring to her this way. It sounded like “Erika” when I was first introduced to her, but I think it was actually more like “Eeka” I should probably clarify this with Maki [My host sister]…) watched it with me and she asked me if I was feeling homesick because of this. The question sort of caught me off guard, because I didn’t really think that I was. I guess you could say that I maybe was subconsciously… but I wanted to watch it more out of tradition, because it is what I do every year.  At that time when I was in Japan I was pretty much having a panic attack/nervous breakdown every other day about NOT wanting to leave Japan, so I definitely didn’t feel homesick.

Erika (whose real name we may never know) came up to me later in the day with a couple small bags of Chocolate that she had went out and bought for Maggie and me. She explained that she felt really bad that Maggie was sick and couldn’t spend time with us, so she asked if I could deliver the small offering in her place. The second bag was for me because she didn’t want me to feel left out. I was really touched by this, that she would even think of going out and getting something. Maggie didn’t seem as impressed when I gave them to her, but she was also in a terrible mood because Okaasan wasn’t really letting her eat since her stomach was still upset. But those chocolates became my “I’m stressed! I need chocolate!” fix over the next couple weeks, so I’m grateful. 

 Look upon the face of demon children!

In the afternoon I got a surprise. Maki came and got me because we could hear music coming from outside (drums and flute) and she wanted me to come see with her. Turns out some people from the neighborhood had dressed up in New Years garb and were going around “blessing” households that wanted to make a small offering of money. I stood in the doorway while she ran down the street to call them back to our house. It all went by so fast, but basically my Okaasan paid them a few yen for a man dressed in a dragon costume and two little boys with demon masks on to dance around and make a lot of noise in order to scare away “evil spirits”. The little boys were too freaking adorable and I really wish I had thought to run and grab my camera. They gave my Okaasan an omamori (good luck charm) of sorts before leaving. It was 5 yen coin for the year of the Tiger, and Okaasan gave it to me since I am born in the year of the Tiger. 

For dinner my Otousan’s (my host father) brother’s family came to eat with us. He has a wife and two boys that are in their teens. I had only been informed of their coming earlier that day (cue me having a panic attack). I had never meet these people, so I was preeeeeeety nervous. Especially, because Maggie wasn’t going to be there, and we had always sort of worked as a team since our Japanese wasn’t perfect. That day I really realized how much of a support she had been to me. We may not have always got along perfectly, but we relied on each other more than I realized I think. For example it was nice having another American in the house, and I don’t mean that in an “ethnocentric” way, in that it was just nice to have someone to speak English with after a day of having to constantly translate everything in one’s brain (my host mother spoke no English, my host father very little, and Maki’s English is about as good as my Japanese—Intermediate). I kept texting her throughout the night about how incredibly awkward it was. Because it was awkward, so much so that I wished I was sick so that I could go hide in my room too. When they arrived I did my formal “yoroshiku-ing” (part of the greeting when you first meet someone in Japan is to say yoroshiku onegaishimasu which doesn’t translate perfectly into English but means something like “please take care of me”) while desperately trying to remember all the Japanese I have EVER learned in case they started asking me random questions. My brain had melted into a puddle by the end of the night from over-concentrating. 

However, a miracle happened. They didn’t seemed to care about me AT ALL. No one asked me any questions at all really beside where I went to school and where I was from in America. YAY FOR NOT HAVING TO REMEMBER COMPLICATED KEIGO (super-formal language)! After that I pretty much stayed to one side of the room while they stayed on the other. It was only when we actually sat down for dinner that I was forced be within a foot of the two teenage boys, as we were “shunned” to the far end of the table (it felt sort of like being at the kids table at a family reunion). My Okaasan had made me a pizza because she felt like there wasn’t enough food for me already (since I am vegetarian). Which turned out to be totally false because they had prepared like 20 different things and I already had plenty to eat without the pizza. But I offered to share it with the boys since I could not possibly finish a small pizza myself AND eat the gigantic Japanese feast. The boys did end up helping me finish it but they still refused to say more that two words to me. I dunno if they were just your typical shy Japanese boy, if they were intimidated by me, or if they just had horrible personalities, but THANK KAMISAMA I had Maki there at least. I think she received the TASUKETE (help me) brain waves I was sending in her direction, and saved the day by starting conversations with them so we weren’t just awkwardly eating and staring into each other’s faces. I will probably never encounter a more awkward dinner experience again in my life. 

After dinner we resumed our opposite-sides-of-the-room positions. They watched some TV quiz program while I messed around on my computer. It got kind of late and these people just WOULD.NOT.LEAVE. My poor Okaasan looked so exhausted and annoyed. I know they are family and all, but they basically just TOOK over the living room, and in the evening my Okaasan likes to sit on the couch and watch tv and maybe take a nap. I was a little pissed that they were sitting in her spot. But who knows, I’m just the awkward foreigner, I could have been misinterpreting the whole situation. They eventually did leave though.

 

The Japanese answer to Old Navy.

The next day I got up early to go shopping with Maki. Now for those who don’t know the first week of the New Year, especially the 1st and 2nd, are HUGE sale days in Japan. Think black Friday if you are from the US. Earlier in the week she had shown me this ad from UNIQLO about an early morning opening sale (like opening at 6am) they were having for the first time ever (I guess Japan has big sales, but is just getting into the concept of having longer store hours). The deals seemed good but I was not willing to get up that early, even with the allure of free anpan and milk tea that they would be handing out. Turns out that Maki didn’t go either because she slept through her alarm. But we had made a pack to get up and go to Tachikawa 立川 together before the big department stores opened. 

 Behold, Tachikawa's Isetan!

I had plans on buying a very expensive designer bag by Anna Sui (my favorite designer!) that I had been longing for ever since I had laid eyes on it back in October. I am not the type of person who is into designer brand stuff, but I LOVE Anna Sui (I suspect because everything is purple based, and I am obsessed with the color purple). I had never even bought a designer bag before, but I had dreams about this bag. If I could marry this bag I would. So I thought what the heck, if I was thinking about it THAT much, and since I was in Tokyo a fashion capital of the world, I needed something to commemorate my time there. When I explained how much I wanted this bag to Maki she was pretty much on board with helping me get it. She wasn’t sure if it would actually be on sale, since new year sales usually revolve around fukubukoru bags (福袋 lucky/mystery bag). Maki had wanted to go to the Lumine department store to visit a her favorite store, while I was headed to the Isetan department store. We had debated about going to Shinjuku’s Isetan, because we may have had better chances of getting the bag I wanted (since they would have more stocked there) but decided against it since it was too far (hour train ride versus the 20 minutes to Tachikawa) and the crowds would be insane being one of the big name district.  So, Tachikawa it was, and the plan was that Maki would walk me over to get in line at Isetan (it opens at 10am, but people line up beforehand, we got there at 9am) and then she would head over to Lumine. We would do our shopping and then she would come get me. However, when we got to the station I noticed signs posted that the Lumine sale didn’t start until the 2^nd (cue Maki freaking out “EH?! HONTOUNI?!”). I felt really bad that she had come with me and she wouldn’t even be shopping but she said that it was good because after we finished at Isetan we could go look at her store so she could pick out what she really wanted before coming back the next day. 

My makeshift display since I couldn't find any photos online. Bear charm sold separately.

The line at Isetan was LOOOONG even though we had got there an hour early! When we got in line it had already wrapped around two sides of the building (and this is a huge building). By the time they opened I could see that it had wrapped around at least 3 sides. As far as I could see I was the only white girl in line too. They started letting people in gradually, maybe like 50-100 people at a time, and once we made it in we rushed up to the floor that had the handbags. Unfortunately none of the Anna Sui bags were on sale, and Maki asked but all the Anna Sui fukubukoro had sold out.  But by that point I wasn’t going to be leaving that store empty handed after all that effort. So I had resolved to pay full price for it, the only problem was I couldn’t FIND it. We looked all around and even described it to couple different workers but they couldn’t find it. They even whipped out this GIANT book that listed all the different products with pictures, and we STILL couldn't find it. I was pretty disappointed at this point but Maki was in game mode by then. She told me that she is the type that once she sets her mind on something she has to see it through. She was determined that we would find this bag even if we had to go back to Shinjuku for it. This part of the reason I admire her so. Well, we looked around one last time, and we found an area back in the corner that we hadn’t looked before (because it wasn’t the designated “Anna Sui” section) AND THERE IT WAS WAITING FOR ME! Maki used her store card to get 10% off for me but I still ended up paying 18000 yen for it (around 215 dollars). I was elated though, and kind of pissed at the store ladies for not knowing their own merchandise, but most elated. After we checked out Maki’s store in Lumine she took me up to another store located in Lumine that sold Anna Sui accessories so that we could see if anything was on sale there. There was, and I ended up buying a bunch of handkerchiefs, hand towels, a camera case, and a makeup purse. I spent probably 50 bucks on everything when it was worth probably 100.  I even convinced Maki to buy the makeup case too. 

I bought this bling bear in Shimokitazawa. It matches perfectly!

When we got home I took my purse out to play with and Otousan was amused by how giddy I was. But then the fact that I just spent over 200 dollars on a purse hit me. I felt about 60% joy and 40% panic. But it wasn't like buyer's remorse, just like "Oh my god, my mom is going to kill me!" and "Oh my god, my friends are going to kill me!" I got over it quickly though. "Pretty" is a wonderful cure for guilt you see. 

Day 1 of 30 day meme, and My New Years in Japan Part 1

Day 01 - A picture of you "in Japan". (doing or wearing something "Japanese")

 ♫Totoro To-Toro♫

There are quite a few pictures I could have chosen for this, but most of them I decided against because I’ll be sharing them at a later date with more detailed stories. Also, I wanted one in Tokyo since that is where I spent most of my time. So I decided on this picture of when my friends and I took a trip to the Studio Ghibli Museum in Mitaka 三鷹市 (a city just outside of Tokyo). Because what is more Japanese than Miyazaki movies? They are like national treasures. My good friend Emily (one of the first people I met in Japan) is in this photo with me.

2010 was the Year of the Tiger (same year I was born in!) and my host family had this charm hanging on the door meant to ward off evil and bring good luck into the house. But more importantly, LOOK AT HOW CUTE THE LITTLE TIGER IS!

So since we have started a new year I guess it is an appropriate time for me to talk about what お正月 was like for me last year in Tokyo.  I really should wait to do this till after I do and introductory post about my host family that I lived with, so that you guys would have a bit of background on what kind of people they are, but I guess I can just give you a quick overview. I lived in Inagi 稲城市 (about a 5 minute walk from Inaginaganuma station 稲城長沼駅 with the Mori 森family, which consisted of a Mother and Father, a son who was married and lived off in Shibuya (I’m not quite sure how old he was but I am guess mid-thirties), a daughter who was thirty (and still lived at home while working for a magazine company, but it is not weird to live with your parents until you marry in Japan), and the family pets (dog named Babe, cat named Ikkyu, and some tropical fish that had lots of babies while I was there). I also wasn’t the only student staying with this family, another girl from my program lived with us too. Her name is Maggie and she lives in New York. They paired us up I think because we are both Vegetarian (a topic I will tackle at a later date). I got along with my host family VERY well, it was pretty much a perfect match. They were laid back, liberal, and while very caring towards me they weren’t too overbearing and let me do my own thing, I guess I should also mention that the father is a retired newspaper reporter (sports I believe) but travels A LOT and does freelance writing now. The mother is a housewife and takes care of the home. They are both in their mid-60’s.

 I think this is my host family's pitiful excuse of Kadomatsu (gate pine display). Let it be noted that normal ones look much prettier than this.

Experiencing New Years in Japan may have been the ONE experience I was dying to have before going to Japan. When people asked what I wanted to do most in Japan my answer was always go to Kyoto, and visit a shrine on New Years day (hatsumode 初詣) . I had read and studied a lot about what happens during the New Years holiday there, but finally I was going to get to experience it for myself.

Most everyone gets time off over New Years in Japan. I remember my host sister Maki being ELEATED because she had a week or more off (she really dislikes her job). The son and his wife came to stay 3 or 4 nights with us (their house is BIG by the way, it’s actually two houses combined into one, so there was plenty of room for everyone). New Years Eve I had plans to meet in Harajuku with friends (our usual hangout since it was kind of a “meet in the middle” place for everyone) for lunch. We decided on Shakey’s, an American chain Italian restaurant, because sometimes you get sick of eating Japanese food all the time, and they were having this AWESOME holiday sale for their buffet that totally made it worth it. And let it be said that I had never eaten at a Shakey’s restaurant before going to Tokyo (nor have I since). I had never even seen one before, in Michigan Pizza Hut dominates. But if you want American style pizza while you are there (not Japanese style with corn and mayo, where did they seriously get that idea?) I recommend Shakey’s. So a group of us went and stuffed ourselves on pizza and pasta. I watched in amazement as Korin (one of my best friends in Japan, and the person I probably saw the most because we had all but one class together) ate 18 pieces of pizza! Jaren (another good friend) and her were challenging each other who could eat the most because 1) they wanted to get their full money’s worth and 2) they really like eating. :D   

Shakey’s is located almost in Omotesando (which is right next to Harajuku) down by Kiddy Land. Because it was New Years Eve, food stalls had started setting up along the street there leading up over the bridge to the famous Meiji Shrine 明治神宮.  They were selling street food like yakisoba, taiyaki, etc. and we all cried because it smelled sooooo good but we were all stuffed from our pizza binge. If you are ever in Tokyo for New Years I would not recommend the Meiji Shrine for the shrine to go to for your hatsumode (first shrine visit of the year). People start lining up over night, and my host sister Maki told me that when she was in High School that she did it a couple times with friends. But that could be what you are looking for who knows, just expect to spend hours standing in line to get in.

When I got home in the evening that day only my host brother’s wife and Otousan were home. My host brother’s wife (whom, by the way, spoke VERY good English, as did the brother but she was better) told me that everyone else had taken Maggie to the hospital because she was running a high fever and had been puking. Later Maggie had told me that the night before she had eaten some sushi, and that she thought she got food poisoning from eating raw shrimp, which she had never tried before. Perfect timing right? I felt really bad for her because I know she was looking forward to doing all the things that Japanese do on New Years, and I could tell she was upset. So they came home eventually, and Maggie went to bed while the rest of us stayed up and watched Kohaku the big annual New Years music show. My host family was always so amused by how many celebrities and singers I knew, and I had made a habit of trying to catch Music Station every week when I didn’t have plans, so I was pretty pumped about getting to watch Kohaku live (I had watched it online for a few years before). At around 10 or 11 we all ate soba, a tradition I had not heard before but you eat them because you want to have a long life. Everyone sort of drifted off to bed before midnight till I was the only one left awake (which rarely happened because I was usually the first one to go to bed).

 Looks beautiful, tastes awful.

In the morning we all had the traditional osechi お節料理 breakfast that my Okaasan and Maki had been preparing days in advance. Before we ate my Otousan gave a little speech, which I didn’t understand half of but he wished me good health and all that jazz in the new year. I just did my usual ‘smile and nod like I understand everything that you are saying’ that I had pretty much perfected by that point. To be honest, the food was not at all delicious, but I had been warned by Maki that it wouldn’t be when I watched her making some things a couple days before. I had asked her why they ate it then if it tastes bad, and she told me it’s just what they do. It’s tradition.  I can understand that because I don’t think most of the food we traditionally eat at Thanksgiving in America is very flavorful either, though not to quite the same extent.  I found the mochi hardest to eat. Okaasan had put it in a miso soup to soften it, and it was still really hard for me to pull apart and eat. I kept feeling like it was going to get caught in my throat too (which apparently IS a problem because a couple people usually die every year from choking on mochi I kid you not EDIT: At least 6 people died this year!). I think it takes a skilled person to eat mochi properly. I didn’t even end up finishing mine because it took too much effort.

 Imagine this road filled with people.

Like this, but with MORE.

*note that I did not take these pictures as I forgot my camera so these are googled*

After breakfast we all got ready and got on the train to go 2 stations down to visit the Ohkunitama Shrine 大國魂神社 for our hatsumode. I had been there once before with Maki and Maggie on one of our weekend shopping trips, but I didn’t know much about the shrine and I wasn’t really expecting it to be as crowded as it was! I found out later that it is one of the oldest shrines in Tokyo (they think it was establish 111A.D) and that it is one of the 5 big ones located in Tokyo area. No wonder everyone and their Obaasan seemed to be there. It really is a pretty place to visit though, and is my second favorite to Meiji-jingu, and really not that far of a walk from the station at all. There is this long stretch of road that leads up to the shrine that is line on each side by trees that is really pretty. That day it was lined also with booths selling food and toys to win if you played games (typical matsuri/festival decor). It smelled really freaking awesome, and I’m not going to lie, after eating that breakfast I was really craving everything in sight. But I had absent-mindedly left both my camera AND my wallet at home, something that I am still kicking myself about to this day because I don’t have any pictures of the experience. But in a way I’m also glad I forgot it, because instead of worrying about getting a picture of this and that I was able to really purely enjoy and take in everything.

 The view was more like this waiting in line, and there were lanterns hanging just like this with names of companies who donated money to the shrine. Interesting advertising method. I'm pretty sure this picture was taken on New Years Day there (again not by me, google is my friend).

But it really is a gorgeous shrine.

My host parents aren’t the kind of people to mess around so as soon as we arrived we got in the massive long line that stretched all the way down the road/walkway leading up to the shrine and out the gate (and around the corner a bit!). I thought we would have to wait in line forever but the line moved faster than expected, and I would say we really only waited an half an hour to forty-five minutes at most. We did have some trouble trying to all stick together in the line though, because sometimes you just can choose which way you are going to be pushed in Japanese crowds. But I did my best to at least stay close to Maki. When we got up into the actual Shrine part close to where the designated prayer area was I remember there being people yelling through megaphones to please keep moving forward and to be quick. I thought it was really rude and disruptive of the peace when people are trying to pray (especially when it is supposed to be like… the most important prayer time of the year), but I guess it was necessary given the hundreds of people trying to push their way in. I had got actually separated from my host family when we made it up to the prayer spot. I remember looking around a little bewildered after I finally made it out of the line, and my Otousan calling my name to my emense relief. He had the biggest grin on his face that I’m not quite sure what for, but I imagine it was because I most have looked a little overwhelmed, like some lost little child in the crowd (not to mention the ONLY foreigner in the crowd). We went and found everyone else. My sister Maki bought an Ema 絵馬 (those small wooden tablets that people write their prayers on in Shrine and then hang so that the Kamisama (spirits/gods) can read them. She offered to buy me one too, or anything else I wanted like my fortune, but I declined. By that point in my stay I had been to many shrines and had gone through all the motions before so I really didn’t feel the need. After that we left, which made me kind of sad because I would have liked to look around longer (and my stomach would have loved to too) but I could tell that the crowds were too much for them.

So that is the first half of what New Years was like for me last year. This year I did it the American way, got drunk with friends, ran from a cop car, played games, sang, danced (badly), and watched the ball drop. Next post I will write about the crazy awkward family dinner with the extended family, the cute children who chased the demons away, and insane new years sales.

Obligatory Introduction Post: AKA, what this is all about.

It is really strange how five months can either pass by in a blink of an eye, or feel like they drag on slowly day-by-day.  I felt both of these ways about my time spent in Japan. From almost the minute I landed in Narita airport there was this constant clock ticking down how much time I had left in the back of my mind. I often felt anxiety on a daily basis, not because I was homesick like others in my study abroad group, but because I didn’t want to leave. The months seemed to go by at warp speed for me, and before I knew it I was saying goodbye to some of the best people I have ever met. But looking back on my time in Tokyo it feels much longer, like I spent years not months there. Maybe I feel that way because I really gave it my all while I was there and really emerged myself as much as I could. Since returning from Japan time has also been strange for me. Most of the time it feels like it drags. However, it’s now the new year, and in little over a month it will be a year since I left Tokyo. That seems unbelievable to me since it feels like it was just yesterday.

Me standing in front of the famous Kinkakuji (金閣寺) temple in Kyoto in the POURING rain. Yeah, that was part of the "hardest thing I have ever done" half.

I can honestly say that living there was both the hardest and best thing I have ever done.  In some ways I think I was very much prepared for my life in Japan, but in other ways I felt very cheated by my University and by my study abroad program (CIEE) for not preparing me mentally for some of the challenges I would face. Looking back at my 20 year old self, having just transferred to Grand Valley State University and entering my first semester of Japanese class, I laugh at how I used to view Japan. I think most people who have and interest in Japan have a very skewed view of it, and it is not really their fault. Japan exports itself focusing on both the strange and the traditional aspects of it’s culture, and at least in America we focus on that. Ask any person off the street what they think of when they think of Japan and I bet most of the answers will either be Geisha or Anime.  Most “fans” of Japan go their whole life with only a superficial interest of it, and really that is ok. It’s ok if you are only in to anime, collecting hello kitty memorabilia, worshipping jpop idols, etc. But in order to really understand what is, and what it means to truly be “Japanese”, I think you have to spend some time there. None of the students who came into my Japanese classes to speak about their time in Japan told me anything REAL about living in Japan. None of them said anything about how attached you become to so many things. None of them said anything about how hard certain things would be. None of them said anything about how painful life after returning from Japan would be. I don’t want to sound too dramatic here or anything, but really it’s the truth. Looking back I wonder if any of them went through these things at all, or is it just some kind of big secret kept by those who experience it? Maybe they didn’t want to scare people away from studying aboard by being too honest.

 Do I look depressed enough in this picture?

Well, I’m going to be honest, my name is Missy (a nickname used by my friends that I almost prefer to my real one) and I suffer from Post-Japan Depression. If you have ever studied abroad in Japan before and have returned I’m sure you have experienced this as well, and know that it is different from reverse-culture shock. But for those of you who don’t know what I am talking about I guess I should give an explanation, though I will save the heavy details for a future post. In my case (as I am sure that each person can experience it differently, and if you would like to share your experience feel free in the comments) I have experienced P.J.D mostly in the loss of interest in being motivating in anything. I often find myself longing to go back to Japan, even though I feel like if I ended up living long term there I would be unhappy. Because the way I think as an American and the way the Japanese think, while similar in some ways, also clash at times. I have no delusions that I am Japanese, because I’m not (and honestly the foreigners that think they really are kind of creep me out). But I do admire the culture more than any other, and I am constantly learning from them. I have adapted a more Japanese mentality over the years since I started showing real interest in Japan, and certainly since living there, but I will always be more American than Japanese. Back to what P.J.D is to me, well I lost my motivation in that I am 24 years old and still living with my parents, I have a part-time job at a library that is going nowhere, and I spend most of my days off being extremely lazy, distracting myself with watching Asian dramas/variety shows/movies and playing Facebook games and The Sims 3, instead of focusing on real responsibilities. I’m escaping from my own reality, and it really is quite pathetic since I am now graduated from college with a degree in Creative Writing and East Asian Studies and I seem to be going nowhere. I often have dreams that I am back in Japan, and there are times when I feel overwhelming sadness because I either miss my host family, my friends, places I used to go, or just little everyday life things from my time spent in Japan. When having conversations with family and friends I often find myself say things like “The Japanese do it like this…” “This would never happen in Japan…” “Oh, one time in Japan…” constantly comparing life now to life in Japan. I am conscious of this though now and have made and effort to hold back at times. This is basically what Post-Japan Depression has been for me, the feeling of being stuck in two places seemly unable to move forward from past experiences.

 Tokyo, used to be my land of opportunity.

I plan to right myself and learn to deal with P.J.D. Since it is the New Year I am making it my New Years Resolution to keep this blog so I can have a place where it is ok to talk about Japan and the experiences I had there. One of my best friends from college who lives and works in Japan started a Japan blog last year (check it out: Spooning With A Schoolboy), and through reading her blog and discovering other Japan blogs through hers I felt inspired to start my own. I think looking back and writing about experiences I had will be really therapeutic for me. Also, I have had months to reflect on things now and have a better understanding and view on things. I kept a blog of sorts while I was actually there studying abroad, but it was more to let my family and friends back home know what I was up to in Japan, and I also got lazy with updating it the last couple months I was there. I got lazy partly because I was very busy, and partly because I didn’t want to face the fact that I would be leaving soon. So, this will be a more detailed account of my time there and good writing practice (since I am an aspiring writer but haven’t felt much like writing at all in a very long time, I’m so rusty!). I promise this isn’t going to be a “woe is me” type of blog, but I do want to make it ok to talk about what some people experience after living in Japan, and my own struggle to find some inner peace and where to move on from here. I also follow the Japanese  pop-culture scene pretty closely so I may post something related to whatever is in the headlines from time to time (like OMG what is up with Hamasaki Ayumi pulling a surprise wedding on us?). I also have a ton of photos and some videos that and would like to sort through and share. 

 Chicago, land of new opportunity! Hopefully.

2010 seemed so promising to me because it started off in Japan and it was my year, the year of the tiger (born in 86! Represent! :D ), and while a lot of really awesome things did happen, I did experience a different and new kind of low from time to time too. My resolution last year was to learn how to cook (more) and to move out of my parent’s house. I was really only half successful and not really satisfied. My cooking has improved and I’m going to keep working on that this year too (especially since I received some new cookbooks for Christmas!) but I’m still living at home so I feel like a failure on that part. However, I do have a plan. I am saving up and this spring I plan to move to Chicago (just across the “pond” as I currently live in Southwestern Michigan) with one of my best friends Anna. She also spent time studying abroad (though not at the same time as I did, and she was in Osaka) and her Dad works in Tokyo. We are both a little unsure of our future, but starting over in a new place (more importantly a city with public transportation, and not the small town I’m in now) will hopefully help us both find something worth doing. As for returning to Japan, for the time being I am not looking to work there (mainly because the only job I really know of for me there would be teaching English, and well fine for some I just don’t see myself doing that) but Anna and I are hoping to take a vacation there in the spring of 2012. So 2011 is going to be about new goals, carving out a new place for myself, letting go of the past, not to mention saving money like crazy!